50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
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Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
HEY LOOK EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT 50 SHADES SERIES IN ONE
ooo, someone actually broke down the Safe Sane Consensual thing and how 50 Shades DOESN’T EVEN TOUCH IT WITH A 10 FOOT POLE.
I got so tired of explaining why what I liked was different from this piece of shit. Thank you.
Bless this post
i have read fics written by 17 year old virgins with a better grasp on a healthy bdsm relationship then this series.
ANNIE - Official Trailer (2014)
I’m not gonna lie, I teared up a little bit when I saw the trailer.
I’m sooo excited for this… cheese fest and all!
this is so freaking adorable and yes i cried. I can’t wait.
I CAN’T WAIT
So I’ll probably get slammed for this (because, tumblr) but here goes anyway. Ask box is open, slam away.
When the original Little Orphan Annie was written, chronologically we were a lot closer to a time where there was a strong bias against Irish people. By making Annie red haired, it was implied that she was of Irish descent, and by extension, the audience would have inherently known that was part of the bias against her.
Changing Annie’s race to African American replicates this same dynamic in modern society, and that’s a big part of why so many people were upset by it. A BLACK orphan?! Nooooooo, keep her white and red haired and cute I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH HOW THIS IS MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE.
Casting Annie as black in 2014 is a much more true to the original character than casting her as a caucasian red head.
I like you, odiedragon.
- Abuse: I know it is hard to believe at the moment, but please know that it was not your fault. You did not and do not deserve to be hurt. You deserve the very best. If you haven't told anyone about what happened, please think about it. Talking about it, even just to a tumblr follower will help you in the long run.
- Post traumatic stress disorder: If you have nightmares and flashbacks about your past, it's ok. It doesn't mean that you are weak, not at all, it just means that your brain is having trouble coping with what happened and is trying to find a way to. Talking to someone about what happened will help you. It won't be easy and it will take time, but eventually it willl fade away with help.
- Rape: It was not your fault. He/she had no right to take advantage of you. You never asked for it. It wasnt because of what you were weariing or how much you drank...if you never said yes its not consensual. If you couldnt stop the person that doesnt mean you were weak or deserved it. You aren't alone. I am here for you.
- Anxiety: Its ok to be not ok. Being anxious doesn't make you weak. Just remember to take deep breathes and try to meditate. It's going to be ok. I am here for you.
- Self Harm: I know how hard it is to deal with the urges to cut or hurt yourself in some way. Please know that I am here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. You don't need to hurt yourself. You dont deserve pain. You are amazing. i hope one day you believe me.
- Eating disorders: No matter what size jeans you wear, you are beautiful. The number on the scale does not determine your worth. Food is fuel for your body, just like cars need gas your body needs food. Food wont make you fat ugly disgusting or anything negative. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are worthwhile. You are important.
- Depression: Unable to get out of bed today? that's ok. Just curl up with a blanket and snuggle under your sheets. You are ok. Even the darkest nights will end. You can't see rainbows without a storm, but this storm will pass. I am proud of you just for being alive. If you were able to get out of bed, i am proud of you. If you stayed in your pjs all day, i am proud of you. If you tried to smile but couldn't I am proud of you. If you managed to smile, I am proud of you.
- Suicidal: I know it is hard. I know you are struggling. But I promise you it will get better. Maybe not tomorrow or next year, but eventually your life will turn around. I am so proud of you for being alive when you feel all hope is lost. Please never give up. You deserve to live. I am here for you. Please never give up, not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. Talk to someone and let them help you. You are so worthwhile. I love you. You are not alone.